ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
lets start a swedish sibling band together
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
