they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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