More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
