Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
