I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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