Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
