he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
