Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
