That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
