drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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