you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
