do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
