Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
