brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize