That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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