the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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