So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
