it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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