Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
