whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
