He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
