my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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