if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
