new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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