You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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