just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i think i have herpe
just one?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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