So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
