I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
