windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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