i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
