I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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