i was born a porn star she said
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize