I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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