...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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