Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
