I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
