One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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