Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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