how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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