from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize