i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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