What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
