Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize