Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
