Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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