New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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