One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
