Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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