I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
