remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
