a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
im holly from the hills drunk
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
