at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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