I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
