Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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