Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
