He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Girls should come with a carfax report
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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