thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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