Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
