just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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