i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
