theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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