She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
