Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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