john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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