we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
FUCK WHALES
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
