And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
