We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
