Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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