His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
