For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
