"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
