So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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