they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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