Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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