For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize