Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
someone owes me an orgasm
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
