Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
