hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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