Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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