Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
